On Preserving The Purity of Our English Language
Thanks to one of our readers for the following, which she attributes to Jackie Mason:
"There may be those among you who support including Spanish in our national language. I for one am 110% against this! We must preserve the exclusivity and, above all, the purity of the English language.I will leave any further comment regarding the above to the Kosher Hedgehog, who is far more qualified than I in such matters.
"To all the shlemiels, shlemazels, nebbishes, nudniks, klutzes, putzes, shlubs, shmoes, shmucks, nogoodniks, and momzers that are out there pushing Spanish, I just want to say that I, for one, believe that English and only English deserves kinguistic prominence in our American culture.
"To tell the truth, it takes me so farklempt, I'm fit to plotz. This whole Spanish schmeer gets me broyges, specially when I hear these erstwhile mavens and luftmenschen kvetching about needing to learn Spanish. What chutzpah! These shmegeges can tout their shlock about the cultural and linguistic diversity of our country, but I, for one, am not buying their shtick. It's all so much dreck, as far as I'm concerned. I exhort you all to be menshen about this and stand up to their fardrayte arguments and meshugganah, farshtunkene assertions. It wouldn't be kosher to do anything else.
"Remember, when all is said and done, we have English and they've got bubkes! The whole myseh is a pain in my tuchas!"