Bin Laden Deputy Thanks Kerry for "Great Ideas'"

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(Note: the following from Scrappleface.com is satirical in nature and is not intended to offend anyone in any way. I do think, however, that although it is funny, it is funny only in a very sad way.)

Bin Laden Deputy Thanks Kerry for 'Great Ideas'

(2004-10-01) -- In a tape aired on Al-Jazeera TV, Usama bin
Laden's top deputy, Ayman
al-Zawahiri, thanked Democrat presidential candidate John Forbes Kerry for
the "great ideas he shared during last night's debate."

On the tape, still under analysis by the CIA, Mr. al-Zawahiri notes
that Mr. Kerry's debate remarks
were a "terrific brainstorming session for our associates who seek targets of
opportunity to advance the cause of our peaceful religion."

Mr. Zawahiri said he appreciated the "virtual invitation" implied in
the following statements by Mr. Kerry:-- "The president hasn't put one nickel -
not one nickel - into the effort to fix some of our tunnels and bridges and most
exposed subway systems."-- "The president - 95 percent of the containers that
come into the ports, right here in Florida, are not inspected."-- "Civilians get
onto aircraft and their luggage is X-rayed, but the cargo hold is not X-rayed.--
"And there's an enormous undone job to protect the loose nuclear materials in
the world that are able to get to terrorists."-- "The president, also
unfortunately, gave in to the chemical industry, which didn't want to do some of
the things necessary to strengthen our chemical plant exposure."

Mr. Kerry, a professional Vietnam veteran who is also a U.S. Senator, said
"it's important for the global community to understand our vulnerabilities so
that we don't appear arrogant, thus inviting a terrorist attack."

What a world we live in.