Thursday, April 21, 2005

Senator Stan Laurel (John Kerry) Is at It Again


Blogfather Hugh Hewitt reports that John Kerry decided to attempt public profundity again, this time on the floor of the United States Senate. As nearly as I can tell, Senator Laurel was talking about the judicial filibuster issue, but he seemed to want to wrap up a bunch of lefty grievances together. A sampling:

It is not up to us to tell any one of our colleagues what to believe as a
matter of faith. I can tell you what I do believe though. When you have
got tens of thousands of innocent souls perished in Darfur, when 11 million
children are without health insurance, when our colossal debt subjects our
economic future to the whims of Asian bankers, no one can tell me that faith
demands all of a sudden that you put the Senate into a position where it is
going to pull itself apart over the question of a few judges. No one with those
priorities has a right to use faith to intimidate anyone of us.


After several reads, I think I get it. I can almost hear the Senator's lilting voice intoning those words. I can see in my mind's eye the sincere, resigned look on his face as he sadly shakes his head and holds forth on what those despicable Republicans are up to now. His message, interpreted:

With all the serious problems in the world, how can they force us to spend time on the trivial matter of our absolutely unprecedented routine use of the filibuster to prevent a floor vote on highly-qualified federal appeals court nominees? And besides, the only legitimate use of "faith" in politics is by Democrats, and only when we use religious faith's existence to smear those very judicial nominees, or when we define "religious faith" as something completely relativistic, entirely personal, and essentially meaningless, so that it demands nothing of anyone-- except perhaps support for liberal social policies.

Oops. When you say it like that it doesn't sound very convincing. It really sounds more like . . . well, it sounds like a 9th-grader's impression of Stan Laurel.

UPDATE: Comments from the SoCal Bloggers' Alliance:
Blogotional has a devastating paragraph-by-paragraph critique of Kerry's blather.

Holy Coast has some thoughts about the National Council of Churches and similar organizations.
Okie on the Lam (perhaps the most beautifully-designed site I have seen) has a wonderful and whimsical take.
Sheep's Crib has a Laurel and Hardy take on the Kerry comments. Don't miss this photo! And more here.

Mere Orthodoxy gives tips on taking action.

UPDATE II: From RealClearPolitics:

The first thing Democrats should do is to stop putting on such ridiculous expressions of public piety. If I hear John Kerry or Howard Dean quoting the Bible one more time I swear I'm going to puke. To win votes Democrats don't
have to try and pass themselves off as deeply religious, they just need to
stop being actively hostile toward people who are.


UPDATE III: The Best of The Web Today has further trenchant and smile-producing thoughts on Senator Laurel's bloviations.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I gave you a link in my latest update as well. Thanks Lowell. 

Posted by John Schroeder (Blogotional)

Friday, April 22, 2005 8:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Memo to the chief hedgehog regarding your snippet from RealClearPolitics--how can you tell the difference between a Democrat trying to pass themselves off as deeply religious and a Republican doing the same thing? How do you know that a Republican isn't cynically using your religion to attract votes? Those that oppose your political views are not necessarily hostile to your religious views. If you feel that way it is because you have decided your religious and political views are one and the same. Maybe the rest of us should do that and we can just get the religious wars started right now.  

Posted by Anonymous

Friday, April 22, 2005 3:54:00 PM  

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